Climate Care Story: Alejandra in Oaxaca, Mexico

Alejandra Carrillo-Munoz is the head designer for Awamaki, a non-profit in Cusco, Peru and a brand designer for - Get Social. We talked about what inspires, challenges and engages her. This is her climate care story.

What prompted you to work in the direction of climate awareness?

Alejandra shares that she remembers always being sensitive to environmental concerns. While designing bridal gowns in Texas she became alarmed by the demanding pace and wondered about her ethical role as a designer. She describes a sense of detachment and guilt that started with “…me feeling this deep sense of guilt, ‘cause it’s during the day for me but they’re working nightshifts just so they can accommodate us as clients, it felt so wrong. Ethically, just not aligned with my values in any way- and that’s when I started thinking about the actual people that are creating these garments and these pieces and what conditions are there, so then I started to really deep dive into that. I realized that I don’t want to be a part of this and that I need to continue to keep asking these questions. These realizations really prompted me to go back to grad school and look at this more closely.”

How do you go from that moment of confusion forward? What has been your path to where you are now?

“I do remember that (the choice to go to graduate school) was such an important part of my life, I felt tugged into two directions, on the one hand I realized all these things I just shared, and feeling a tremendous amount of guilt, and realizing I could do more, learn more, I could do the work.  Basically, which meant, taking a break from my growth in fashion industry and going back to school. Or, on the other hand, thankfully I had a really solid education, I had really good connections with my mentors, and so I had recommendations from them to keep escalating and going with big brands in the industry. I had the possibility of going with a big fashion brand and growing in that aspect but knowing that I was going to stay in this industry that all of a sudden felt grey and dark. Or, I’m going back to school. In a way taking a step backward but I knew it wasn’t that, basically rerouting.” Finding a path between the certainty of the fashion industry and the uneasy sense of uncertainty required a reset that graduate school offered. During this pause, Alejandra directed her critical perspective to seek out creative and collaborative alternatives. However, there was also a personal dimension to this change in career trajectory. She explains, “..but it was challenging also because I come from an immigrant family - it's like let’s start making money, let’s start living a better life, so that’s why it was really enticing to go the direction of professional growth, but I just knew, it was in me, just the way I was brought up and where we came from, humble beginnings, that that wasn’t right… there was just something, that intuition…I had to go back home, in many ways it felt like taking a step backwards, they (family) were very supportive. I was able to integrate different aspects of me to get me to where I am now. I’m in this crossroads between culture, art and design. I’m so glad I made that move. I was so close to not.” As Alejandra’s nagging guilt rang louder than the fear of losing certain economic advancement, embracing the uncertainty of alternative production models became inevitable. Focusing on a quality of life that is true to her values of equality and unity, motivated her to make the difficult choice to respond to her disenchantment with the fashion industry by bravely pausing. Even now the path remains unclear in direction while remaining true to her values.

Tell me about the work you do now. What’s been most difficult about your path?

“Since grad school, I’ve dived into this area of slow fashion, specifically working with artisans, most of which are women. I lived in Guatemala for a little bit, that’s where I had a deep dive into this world, I realized just like anything, it’s not perfect- basically what I learned there if you have an institution oriented around the principle of slow fashion, caring about people and planet, and processes that doesn’t mean that you’re not functioning in the same way as any other commercial company. I had this deep conflicting, back and forth, with the fact that, yes we were producing things that were artisan made but there would be times with quick turn-arounds that insane and it was very uncomfortable for me. I’m a fluent Spanish speaker and English speaker. I was always that middleman. Having to convey that and report back, it felt like being tugged between two worlds. I then moved onto Peru to help design the collection. Right now, I’m still affiliated with them. For six years now. Now with a life (in Oaxaca) and family (with a new baby), I can’t just go and be there. So, designing from a distance and not having that same collaborative space is just not right either. I love that place and love the people. There I learned a different model. The lesson for me is that there are different models, different ways of working and no place is ever going to be perfect.”

In many ways, the tug of war that Alejandra describes between values and work, management and artisans, two cultures and languages, ideality and realty is experienced by many who struggle to find a balance between the dual needs of efficiency and sustainability. Later during our discussion, Alejandra describes her current efforts in offering workshops to artisans about the distribution process, and about being an “outsider” even if of Mexican heritage, occupying a place of privilege, as a designer with potentially a hierarchical designation. Oaxaca as a magical place robust in its defense of indigenous cultures, textiles, languages, she was humbled by her “outsider” status explaining, “I thought I was coming back to my roots, and I find that’s not the case. You have to work your way into community like any other place. It’s so hard to be detached. The moment you are detached, you don’t have full perspective. You just lose that connection.”

What do you experience as the difference between the two paths that you mentioned: industrial and artisan?

“In the grand scheme of things, there is more awareness in the artisan sector, much more awareness in terms of consumption, the way things are made, how we communicate process, and how we communicate this to consumers so that they are aware. There is a big difference. Massive difference and I think for me it’s just realizing how my role as a designer, how I navigate this. It’s very different, here I am working with people directly, I see a face, and I do try to be that middleman person. It offers more wiggle room, if we can’t meet that deadline. Having this notion of open communication in that space of community and communication -  that alone is completely different.”

You had mentioned guilt as a part of your path, what advice would you offer to someone feeling that kind of climate guilt, overwhelm, anxiety, feeling that there’s no right answer?

“I think we need to stop being heroes. We are part of one big community. We all have the responsibility to add a grain of salt, and how we do what we can on our end is enough. If we do we get stuck in that sense of guilt, and it’s happened to me, you don’t do anything at all. Realizing that you have to take the ego out. It’s not about you or you solving everything. You can’t. This is a massive issue and needs to be tackled from different areas and how we’re able to contribute towards that is both a responsibility and just part of something so huge. I definitely have been held back by that guilt and that guilt has also propelled me to do something. You really have two options here, either it stops you and do nothing at all, or you take that guilt and do what you can to move forward.”

Fueled her experience of guilt followed by critical exploration, communication, collaboration, and community building, Alejandra envisions her path forward by going back to bridal wear. Eager to connect her love of bridal fashion with an artisan model of production, she is ready to define her brand of sustainable bridal wear that invites consumers to invest in artisan involvement to color their love story through that one special piece. Challenging that self-critical voice that holds her back, she gently declares – “I’m at a point where I need to get started, and the solutions will come.”